Female empowerment. It is the bombdotcom, you guys. For some reason, society just loves to pin us against one another and we have taken the bait! I have found during my time in the military and as a military spouse that this whole “girl eat girl” (so to speak) trend is even worse amongst military spouses.
Perhaps it is the rank structure in the actual military, maybe it is jealousy, maybe it is just a difference in personalities… who the heck knows, but I am honestly a bit sick of this mentality! I found it was especially bad amongst pilot wives.
Female empowerment is so important to me. I spent years trying to be better than other women and not being happy for them when they achieved something awesome. Where did that even get me? Nowhere!
I think that empowering other military spouses is also extremely important. Military life can be so lonely and it gets even more lonely when you feel like the women around you don’t actually want you to succeed.
How can you empower other military spouses and beyond that (as in women who are not military spouses)? I am about to throw some knowledge nuggets at you!
Realize that another women’s success does not ruin your own success.
All women are doing their own thing with their own life. Nobody is at the same stage in their life as you, just like you are not at the same stage as anyone else. Why compare your level ten to their level 80? Instead of being jealous when a fellow military spouse is successful at something, be happy for them! Congratulate them!
Unless you are in a competition, other women are not your competition.
Who cares if someone is more fit than you, has more brand name items than you, and has more friends than you? It is not a competition. Someone is always going to have more and be better at something than you, but you will always have your special talents and things that others don’t have. It is not a competition! Unless you’re actually signed up for a competition, nothing is a competition and you need to focus on changing your mindset to support other women instead of viewing them as your rival.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Comparison is the thief of joy. It is true! It is also a great way to develop resentment towards other women. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are uniquely you, and that is beautiful.
Even if it’s not your jam, support them instead of looking down on them.
In my military wife experience, there are so many people who will talk trash about other spouses who are just trying to be better, make money, be productive, or whatever else. Multi-level marketing and small businesses are very common amongst military spouses because it is a great way to make money from home and we can take our business with us anywhere. The moment someone would try to sell something or even if they weren’t trying, but would talk about their business, people were so quick to shut them out! It was such an unsupportive environment, and I am not about that life. There are other ways to support these women without buying anything from them. Women who look down on these other women are creating an unsupportive environment and are making things even more difficult in an already tough and lonely environment. Even if you’re not interested in personal training, for example, don’t be rude and don’t discourage other people from seeking out the services they desire just because you don’t like what this individual does.
Like I said before, military life can be so lonely! Don’t be the woman who makes it lonelier by discouraging other spouses and putting them down.
I wear a lot of hats; NASM Certified Personal Trainer, Weight Loss Specialist, and Fitness Nutrition Specialist; wife; fur mom; writer; college student; mental health advocate; pet sitter; Airman; athlete; and many more. I love my home in the southwest and my favorite season is summer. I am a sepsis survivor and I battle with generalized anxiety disorder and depression.