Who else thinks that many self-help books are unoriginal? I feel like, for the most part, they are all about the same things like how to find true happiness, how to get rich, how to live life to the fullest, blahblahblah.
Naturally, when my book club decided that we should read this book, I was basically thinking, “Oh great, another one!”
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson was like a breath of fresh air. It is not unrealistic. It is not fluffed up with inspiring language. You don’t feel like the author is yelling at you through the pages.
It is funny. It cusses a lot (which I really liked). Most importantly, it is real.
My favorite quote from the book:
“And if you go around giving a fuck about everyone and everything without conscious thought or choice – well, then you’re going to get fucked.”
This book honestly could not have come to me at a better time. The past year has been challenging for me, as far as mental health goes. To add onto that, I live on a small Air Force base where it can be challenging to make friends because everyone seems to have their own little clique.
I was no longer working twelve hours per day, therefore I didn’t have much mental stimulation here. I began to care about things that I never used to care about.
Why did that person ignore my text message?
Why wasn’t I invited?
I don’t think they like me.
Nobody here likes me.
I felt very alone here and I used to ask myself and my husband, “Why do I care so much?! I am letting this get in the way of having good mental health. I am letting this cause so much anxiety and unhappiness within me. I NEVER used to care this much.”
Once I was reading this book, I realized what I was doing.
I was placing value in things that just simply were not worth it. I began to realize that I needed to place more value in other things that I valued back when I was working full time. It was time to place more value in myself, my health, my marriage, and my passions.
I needed to place less value in getting people to like me because it was just becoming disappointing for me.
It is not as simple as that. It took a lot of practice. Eventually when I got the hang of “not giving a fuck” about certain trivial things and when I started focusing on my higher value things, I became happier. I also became less anxious. I started to feel confident again.
That was my take away from this book: some things in life are not worth it and we should not place value in them. Other things in life are worth it and the more valuable they are to you, the more you will work at them. You will probably fail at them, too, but the point is that you are willing to fail because of the fact that you value them so much. When you stop caring about the trivial things, you start becoming more relaxed and carefree because you are not letting them get in the way of you being happy.
If you are truly in an unhappy place in life, it might be time to pick up this book. I learned so much more from this book than I did from any other self-help book I’ve read before. It opened my eyes and made me realize what one of the main sources of my unhappiness was and also how I can make it better for myself.